update : 3rd sept 2008

My dearest brothers and sisters in Christ,

Thanks for your emails and concerns, cares and love. Some of you are worrying about me since yesterday was the day of the final searching for Yi-Jien and I haven’t written anything. The result is that nothing is found. When I left the rangers’ office, I did not cry but feeling my hope of finding Yi-Jien is getting less and less. They told me they had cover over 80% of the search area and some parts of the area even reach 95%, and they were very frustrated and disappointed, so they decided there would be no more active search. If rangers or hikers passing through the same area and find something, they may start the search again. I believe all the rangers think if Yi-Jien is found, he is death. I guess if we think rationally, we probably would also agree with all the rangers. Somehow I have been asking God if Yi-Jien is death, I would like to see his body. Yet God did not answer me, thus I put my hope even it seems hope against hope to wait for God’s mighty help to save Yi-Jien. Thus what we do here in the motel about 10 miles away from Glacier national park is to pray, to cry with the song “Our Father – Don Moen” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlHiDohcEEw). We spend most of our time praying and waiting. I have to admit that I am not a patient person at all and waiting is my weakest part of my life. Thus I cried a lot at the end of the day when there is no news to express my disappointment, frustration, pain, worries,…and questioning God how long, how long…? Three days ago, it was Sunday and I did not forget to sing praises to God, so I started listening songs on youtube and sang along in my heart. I found out that my heart could not fully sing praises to God. There is a conflict in my heart. I want to trust in the Lord, but my pains and my questions and my disappointment stop me to worship Him. Then God gave me a verse from Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight. I keep this verse in my heart and ask God why can’t I fully trust in you and praise you and pray for God to help me to take away the part in my heart which stop me worshipping Him. Yesterday before I went to ranger office, God gave me this song “I will sing – Don Moen” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W1EdvUfaRY&feature=related) and the verse in the song from Habakkuk 3:17-19 Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines; though the produce of the olive fails, and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will exult in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and makes me tread upon the heights. It is my choice to choose to sing and to praise God even though everything does not seem make sense, everything does not seem work out. I still choose to sing and praise our Triumph God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit even though Yi-Jien is not found. God teaches me this is the trust He wants me to have in Him. I will continue to sing and praise the Lord in all circumstances. Then my heart is filled with peace though pain is still there, questions is still in my mind. Does that mean I loose hope to wait for Yi-Jien? The answer is no until God shows me to let go and move on. I am still praying for Yi-Jien to “Jia Yo” (means “keep up” and it was in my dream). So please continue to pray for Yi-Jien and I shall put my trust in the Lord with all my heart.

I do want to give my heartfelt thanks to you all lifting us (me, my mother in law and my family) in your prayers. I truly feel the community of God on earth without boundaries, nationalities, skin color, gender and age. I believe I could not walk this far without the support of prayers and love from the community of God. Let’s praise the Lord for His goodness and love.

In His Grace and Mercy

Siu Yin