Dear All,
This will probably be our last update till after the 40th day, which is the day we have set as our last day of waiting upon the Lord. As we enter this last period of waiting, Siu Yin and I have felt the Lord preparing and keeping our hearts in His peace, His love and the hope He has given us. Each time when in our own frailty, we allow niggling questions and doubts to unsettle us, we come back to the Lord, to seek Him, to worship Him and to be strengthened in Him . . . and He never fails to comfort, assure and to make ". . . my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights . . . broadens the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turnover (Psalm 18:33, 36)." We discover again that He is all that His Word testifies to, and far larger than our hopes and desires.
We would like to share with you where we are now in this last stretch.
From Siu Yin:
Some of you may think I must be very anxious at this very last part of the waiting journey. However my heart is still with hope, for God graciously walks with me everyday with His Word full of love and mercy. Today I read Psalm 109 and I started praying for Yi-Jien through the Scriptures: Psalm 109:21 - 31 21 But you, O LORD Yi-Jien's Lord, act on Yi-Jien's behalf for your name's sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver Yi-Jien. 22 For Yi-Jien is poor and needy, and Yi-Jien's heart is pierced within him. 23 Yi-Jien is gone like a shadow at evening; Yi-Jien is shaken off like a locust. 2425 Yi-Jien is an object of scorn to his accusers; when they see Yi-Jien, they shake their heads. 26 Help Yi-Jien, O LORD my God! Save Yi-Jien according to your steadfast love. 27 Let them know that this is your hand; you, O LORD, have done it. 28 Let them curse, but you will bless. Let Yi-Jien's assailants be put to shame;1 may your servant Yi-Jien be glad. 29 May Yi-Jien's accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a mantle. 30 With Yi-Jien's mouth he will give great thanks to the LORD; Yi-Jien will praise him in the midst of the throng. 31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save them from those who would condemn them to death. Yi-Jien's knees are weak through fasting; Yi-Jien's body has become gaunt.
The strong sense of Yi-Jien still alive and seeing him is deep down in my heart. I then reread my journal I wrote last few days showing my struggle of doubting and praying for God's help to transform my doubt into trust. I have been pondering John 14:12-14 12 Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If in my name you ask me1 for anything, I will do it. And it does strengthen my belief that God has heard our cry to deliver Yi-Jien, yet it does not change my open ended hope – God can deliver Yi-Jien but God may not do it. Then I felt the paradox in my belief that I believe Yi-Jien is alive, yet I accept that God may not deliver him at the end. What kind of belief is this? During this struggling, I received emails mentioning Mark 11:23-24 23 Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. 24 So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. God helps me to break through my open ended hope, for I have to believe that I have received what I pray for – deliver Yi-Jien, O Lord and this is what I should believe until the end of waiting. I believe I am going to see Yi-Jien in this week. I feel joy in my heart and understand John 16:24b. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. I don't want to ask "if" anymore and I just believe the promise is coming and my joy shall be complete when it comes. I don't think too far ahead and just look forward to seeing Yi-Jien and trust God will help me to go through what is next. This is what I think I should believe. Jesus reminds us "Do not doubt but believe"
For me, the journey was about trying to discern and follow God in what He was doing in and through this whole incident. Right from the very start, I had already surrendered the outcome to Him regardless, trusting that His will is always the best for our lives. As the journey progressed, it seemed that God was pointing me to a specific hope that Yi Jien is alive and He would deliver him . . . then leading from that to the fact that He is the Almighty God who wants (not just can) to do what is the impossible for His larger purposes. Dare I believe that? It was no longer about Yi Jien anymore (although the two things are linked) but it was about whether I would be willing to take that step of faith (if I had discerned Him correctly) to believe that He is still the same God who did mighty acts on behalf of our forefathers in the Bible.
I took that step with fear and trepidation, knowing that I could be wrong, but I chose to accept His invitation to believe . . and that is still where I am now as I enter this last stretch . . . trusting that it is all about our God who wants to bring glory to Himself in a mighty way. It is faith yet tinged with the human fear of 'what if i am wrong?' Again and again through my daily readings these past three days (Psalms 3-6 and Isaiah 60-66) and emails which some of you sent, God continued to gently encourage. In Isaiah 66:9 (my reading today), God's word to the Israelites was, "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery? Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" I am challenged again to hold fast to God's promise till the end.
However, in God's larger scheme of things, what began as a personal crisis, has unfolded into a jouney of faith that went beyond our family and involved all of you. We wish we could include in detail all the encouraging testimonies which so many of you have written to share about what God has been doing in your personal lives, in your families and across churches. Many of you have said that ultimately it is the process of the journey, not the final outcome that is important to you . . that you have come to a place where you will still praise and thank God regardless because you have come to taste of His greatness, love and mercy throughout this journey.
Therefore, one of the main reasons for not continuing with our updates is to allow you to continue in your own journey of faith with God. We have always, throughout this journey, tried to point you to God because ultimately, it is not about us but about Him, and all that He wants to do in each of our lives and beyond. So we think it is fitting at this last stretch, that we all come before Him to seek Him ourselves and hear from Him what or how He wants us to pray. We trust that His Spirit will so lead us that beyond the physical realm, there will be that stream of prayers rising in unity as incense before the Father's presence, a chorus of praise, thanksgiving and petition. And we 'move aside' and let God accomplish His purposes.
So thank you all again for journeying so tenaciously and so far with us . . . may this journey end in glorious praise and glory to Him, our Almighty Triune God, Father, Son and Spirit.
Your very grateful and much privileged fellow sojourners in faith,
kim guat and siu yin
p.s. You are all still welcome to write to us . . we appreciate greatly all the emails that we have received.
p.p.s. Just to clarify about the 40 days . . the number '40' does not have to refer to a precise figure although it can; it can also refer to a period of time where God accomplishes His purposes, of testing, trial, etc., which ends with a period of restoration or renewal . . . you can look this up yourself :-) God bless!
This will probably be our last update till after the 40th day, which is the day we have set as our last day of waiting upon the Lord. As we enter this last period of waiting, Siu Yin and I have felt the Lord preparing and keeping our hearts in His peace, His love and the hope He has given us. Each time when in our own frailty, we allow niggling questions and doubts to unsettle us, we come back to the Lord, to seek Him, to worship Him and to be strengthened in Him . . . and He never fails to comfort, assure and to make ". . . my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights . . . broadens the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turnover (Psalm 18:33, 36)." We discover again that He is all that His Word testifies to, and far larger than our hopes and desires.
We would like to share with you where we are now in this last stretch.
From Siu Yin:
Some of you may think I must be very anxious at this very last part of the waiting journey. However my heart is still with hope, for God graciously walks with me everyday with His Word full of love and mercy. Today I read Psalm 109 and I started praying for Yi-Jien through the Scriptures: Psalm 109:21 - 31 21 But you, O LORD Yi-Jien's Lord, act on Yi-Jien's behalf for your name's sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver Yi-Jien. 22 For Yi-Jien is poor and needy, and Yi-Jien's heart is pierced within him. 23 Yi-Jien is gone like a shadow at evening; Yi-Jien is shaken off like a locust. 2425 Yi-Jien is an object of scorn to his accusers; when they see Yi-Jien, they shake their heads. 26 Help Yi-Jien, O LORD my God! Save Yi-Jien according to your steadfast love. 27 Let them know that this is your hand; you, O LORD, have done it. 28 Let them curse, but you will bless. Let Yi-Jien's assailants be put to shame;1 may your servant Yi-Jien be glad. 29 May Yi-Jien's accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a mantle. 30 With Yi-Jien's mouth he will give great thanks to the LORD; Yi-Jien will praise him in the midst of the throng. 31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save them from those who would condemn them to death. Yi-Jien's knees are weak through fasting; Yi-Jien's body has become gaunt.
The strong sense of Yi-Jien still alive and seeing him is deep down in my heart. I then reread my journal I wrote last few days showing my struggle of doubting and praying for God's help to transform my doubt into trust. I have been pondering John 14:12-14 12 Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If in my name you ask me1 for anything, I will do it. And it does strengthen my belief that God has heard our cry to deliver Yi-Jien, yet it does not change my open ended hope – God can deliver Yi-Jien but God may not do it. Then I felt the paradox in my belief that I believe Yi-Jien is alive, yet I accept that God may not deliver him at the end. What kind of belief is this? During this struggling, I received emails mentioning Mark 11:23-24 23 Truly I tell you, if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and if you do not doubt in your heart, but believe that what you say will come to pass, it will be done for you. 24 So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. God helps me to break through my open ended hope, for I have to believe that I have received what I pray for – deliver Yi-Jien, O Lord and this is what I should believe until the end of waiting. I believe I am going to see Yi-Jien in this week. I feel joy in my heart and understand John 16:24b. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. I don't want to ask "if" anymore and I just believe the promise is coming and my joy shall be complete when it comes. I don't think too far ahead and just look forward to seeing Yi-Jien and trust God will help me to go through what is next. This is what I think I should believe. Jesus reminds us "Do not doubt but believe"
For me, the journey was about trying to discern and follow God in what He was doing in and through this whole incident. Right from the very start, I had already surrendered the outcome to Him regardless, trusting that His will is always the best for our lives. As the journey progressed, it seemed that God was pointing me to a specific hope that Yi Jien is alive and He would deliver him . . . then leading from that to the fact that He is the Almighty God who wants (not just can) to do what is the impossible for His larger purposes. Dare I believe that? It was no longer about Yi Jien anymore (although the two things are linked) but it was about whether I would be willing to take that step of faith (if I had discerned Him correctly) to believe that He is still the same God who did mighty acts on behalf of our forefathers in the Bible.
I took that step with fear and trepidation, knowing that I could be wrong, but I chose to accept His invitation to believe . . and that is still where I am now as I enter this last stretch . . . trusting that it is all about our God who wants to bring glory to Himself in a mighty way. It is faith yet tinged with the human fear of 'what if i am wrong?' Again and again through my daily readings these past three days (Psalms 3-6 and Isaiah 60-66) and emails which some of you sent, God continued to gently encourage. In Isaiah 66:9 (my reading today), God's word to the Israelites was, "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery? Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" I am challenged again to hold fast to God's promise till the end.
However, in God's larger scheme of things, what began as a personal crisis, has unfolded into a jouney of faith that went beyond our family and involved all of you. We wish we could include in detail all the encouraging testimonies which so many of you have written to share about what God has been doing in your personal lives, in your families and across churches. Many of you have said that ultimately it is the process of the journey, not the final outcome that is important to you . . that you have come to a place where you will still praise and thank God regardless because you have come to taste of His greatness, love and mercy throughout this journey.
Therefore, one of the main reasons for not continuing with our updates is to allow you to continue in your own journey of faith with God. We have always, throughout this journey, tried to point you to God because ultimately, it is not about us but about Him, and all that He wants to do in each of our lives and beyond. So we think it is fitting at this last stretch, that we all come before Him to seek Him ourselves and hear from Him what or how He wants us to pray. We trust that His Spirit will so lead us that beyond the physical realm, there will be that stream of prayers rising in unity as incense before the Father's presence, a chorus of praise, thanksgiving and petition. And we 'move aside' and let God accomplish His purposes.
So thank you all again for journeying so tenaciously and so far with us . . . may this journey end in glorious praise and glory to Him, our Almighty Triune God, Father, Son and Spirit.
Your very grateful and much privileged fellow sojourners in faith,
kim guat and siu yin
p.s. You are all still welcome to write to us . . we appreciate greatly all the emails that we have received.
p.p.s. Just to clarify about the 40 days . . the number '40' does not have to refer to a precise figure although it can; it can also refer to a period of time where God accomplishes His purposes, of testing, trial, etc., which ends with a period of restoration or renewal . . . you can look this up yourself :-) God bless!
posted by Jo Jo Bumps at 1:20 PM
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